Affect Transformation: From Rage to Courage
An Anger and Domestic Violence Program
This program was initially developed as an anger and domestic violence prevention program for court referred clients. Each section of the program is usually conducted as one counseling session and is tailored to the individual or couple's needs. I also present this program as a training model for educators and therapists who work in the areas of anger and domestic violence. The program is designed to help individuals manage their anger by gaining a better understanding of themselves. Anger management is not just something one accomplishes by acquiring new skills. I believe that the best way to control anger is to be open to aspects of our personalities that we often do not display to others. After each section of the program, I have included graphic illustrations to help the reader understand the processes I describe.
The first section of the program provides an introduction into this misunderstood emotion. I have concluded that most people have limited insight into the relationship between the mental and physical components of anger. I describe the habitual patterns that lead to aggression and violence and I provide strategies for going from a reactive expression to a more reflective one. I describe how anger and guilt are related and the negative consequences of each. This section also emphasizes the importance of communicating hurt and painful experiences without emotional outbursts as a way of solving conflicts rather than just controlling anger.
The section on the relationship between anger and depression describes how both anger and depression are part of a cyclical dysfunctional pattern that begins with the suppression of emotions. I discuss how anger leads to guilt and shame. This section highlights the core of my premise that anger can be transformed into courage. I discuss how courage is needed to be able to positively express pain that can lead to self-empowerment and a more functional pattern of behavior.
The third section is one that my clients enjoy the most because it provides them with information on how to find happiness. I stress the importance of nurturing or balancing five essential components of our being in order to attain contentment. I review these components and encourage participants to rate themselves in each area. In this section I provide a description of the Spirit and ways to use this component to fulfill the other four areas. I have found that many individuals are confused about how to nurture their spirit and this section provides them with an understanding of what we call the soul.
How persons are attracted to each other is a complex process. However, in the section on attractions, I provide my clients an understanding of how people can also be attracted to each other because of their personal inadequacies. I describe how co-dependent relationships are formed and strategies for breaking away from a dysfunctional relationship. I encourage clients to be open to their personal issues as a way of understanding a troubled relationship. I provide a definition of an interdependent relationship as one where there is more collaboration and mutual decision-making.
I find it very important to include a section on men's issues because I believe that men find it very difficult to express their insecurities. This part of the program is much more specifically adapted to the individual that comes for treatment. Therefore, in this handbook, I only provide an introduction as to how men are socially influenced to become controlling and aggressive. I present an explanation of how our defensiveness relates to growing up in a society where defense has become a major part of life. I emphasize how defensiveness is at the root of anger, aggression, distrust and poor relationships. I try to encourage men to accept and express their insecurities as a way of confronting their fears and letting go of their defenses. Each client is provided an opportunity to discuss how his life relates to living in a culture of defense.
Understanding oneself is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. Most of us only have general idea of “who we are”. In this section, I provide an exercise that will help my clients to discuss and rate aspects of themselves that leads to a clearer sense of their identity. There is an interrelationship between concepts such as self-image, self-confidence, self-esteem that leads to an awareness of the self. By exploring those particular concepts that make up our self-identity, we are able to gain a better understanding of who we are and make the changes to enhance our well-being.
Finally, I find that most clients truly want to change but may have very little insight into the process of change. The next section, describes a cognitive-behavioral process of therapeutic change that I have used with my clients for several years. A major focus is on helping my clients gain awareness of their issues, acceptance of themselves, and learn new behaviors that lead to responsibility. The process involves a six-step sequence whereby individuals must experience cognitive and behavioral changes. At each level of progress towards change, I describe how a client might respond personally or to others. I believe that change is constant depending on the person’s development and situations he or she faces. Therefore, I help clients utilize this process to help them during failures or relapses.
Affect Transformation: From Rage to Courage ©
Israel Nájera, Jr., Ph.D.
The first section of the program provides an introduction into this misunderstood emotion. I have concluded that most people have limited insight into the relationship between the mental and physical components of anger. I describe the habitual patterns that lead to aggression and violence and I provide strategies for going from a reactive expression to a more reflective one. I describe how anger and guilt are related and the negative consequences of each. This section also emphasizes the importance of communicating hurt and painful experiences without emotional outbursts as a way of solving conflicts rather than just controlling anger.
The section on the relationship between anger and depression describes how both anger and depression are part of a cyclical dysfunctional pattern that begins with the suppression of emotions. I discuss how anger leads to guilt and shame. This section highlights the core of my premise that anger can be transformed into courage. I discuss how courage is needed to be able to positively express pain that can lead to self-empowerment and a more functional pattern of behavior.
The third section is one that my clients enjoy the most because it provides them with information on how to find happiness. I stress the importance of nurturing or balancing five essential components of our being in order to attain contentment. I review these components and encourage participants to rate themselves in each area. In this section I provide a description of the Spirit and ways to use this component to fulfill the other four areas. I have found that many individuals are confused about how to nurture their spirit and this section provides them with an understanding of what we call the soul.
How persons are attracted to each other is a complex process. However, in the section on attractions, I provide my clients an understanding of how people can also be attracted to each other because of their personal inadequacies. I describe how co-dependent relationships are formed and strategies for breaking away from a dysfunctional relationship. I encourage clients to be open to their personal issues as a way of understanding a troubled relationship. I provide a definition of an interdependent relationship as one where there is more collaboration and mutual decision-making.
I find it very important to include a section on men's issues because I believe that men find it very difficult to express their insecurities. This part of the program is much more specifically adapted to the individual that comes for treatment. Therefore, in this handbook, I only provide an introduction as to how men are socially influenced to become controlling and aggressive. I present an explanation of how our defensiveness relates to growing up in a society where defense has become a major part of life. I emphasize how defensiveness is at the root of anger, aggression, distrust and poor relationships. I try to encourage men to accept and express their insecurities as a way of confronting their fears and letting go of their defenses. Each client is provided an opportunity to discuss how his life relates to living in a culture of defense.
Understanding oneself is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. Most of us only have general idea of “who we are”. In this section, I provide an exercise that will help my clients to discuss and rate aspects of themselves that leads to a clearer sense of their identity. There is an interrelationship between concepts such as self-image, self-confidence, self-esteem that leads to an awareness of the self. By exploring those particular concepts that make up our self-identity, we are able to gain a better understanding of who we are and make the changes to enhance our well-being.
Finally, I find that most clients truly want to change but may have very little insight into the process of change. The next section, describes a cognitive-behavioral process of therapeutic change that I have used with my clients for several years. A major focus is on helping my clients gain awareness of their issues, acceptance of themselves, and learn new behaviors that lead to responsibility. The process involves a six-step sequence whereby individuals must experience cognitive and behavioral changes. At each level of progress towards change, I describe how a client might respond personally or to others. I believe that change is constant depending on the person’s development and situations he or she faces. Therefore, I help clients utilize this process to help them during failures or relapses.
Affect Transformation: From Rage to Courage ©
Israel Nájera, Jr., Ph.D.